Life's Struggles · The Fight of Life · Thoughts

Church hurt/People Hurt

So, recently I was hurt by someone in the church. It wasn’t “church hurt”. It was a hurt from someone who is a christian. I guess they are both kind of the same.

I don’t think we will ever get use to anyone hurting us. No matter what type of hurt it is. It could be emotional, physical, mental, etc. No matter what, hurt is hurt. But it’s something about being hurt in church that hits harder than the rest.

Christians are supposed to be the good guys. They are supposed to be loving, kind, respectful, honest, supportive, etc. But reality has a funny way of hitting us. The reality of Christians being a human who isn’t perfect usually only hits a person when a Christian hurts them. Sometimes that reality isn’t even a reality for some, some reject Christ completely because of their experiences with people who call themselves Christians. Yes christians are supposed to be all of things mentioned earlier, but the reality is, we can’t forget that people even christians are still human.

The christian who hurt me is a leader in the church. They are well known and it was hard for me to admit that they had flaws. It hurt. It was disappointing. I was discouraged. I began to doubt so many things. I mean this was a chrisitan, someone who was supposed to reflect Christ, so what happened?

I reached out to my mentors during this time for help. I think one of the key things to do when you are hurt, is to reach out. Many people are too prideful to handle things on their own or they are too afraid to reach out. But I encourage anyone who has been hurt to find someone they trust who has wisdom, can provide Biblical wisdom, and can guide them.

My mentor told me a few things that I didn’t think about before. When I was initially hurt, I was focused on protecting myself, and making sure the person who hurt me stayed away. There is absolutely nothing wrong with using this wisdom because God does say to guard our hearts. But my mentor told me to also look at the bigger picture.

He said, “You need to understand that we don’t wrestle with flesh and blood……” (Eph 6:12)

As a christian, I know this. I’ve seen this verse so many times. But it hits different when you are a victim or hurting about something. Especially when the person who hurt you is standing right in front of you. It’s a little more difficult to make the connection that the person hurting you is not who you are fighting. It’s easier to see this verse when you are angry, but to understand this verse when hurting is more challenging.

So I really meditating on this. I am still meditating on this. It has led me to take a step back. I know that God told me to guard my heart, but He also said to understand that our true enemy is Satan. If we assume that everyone who hurts us is evil, then we reject God’s word in Ephesians 6:12. Now don’t get me wrong, there are some people in this world who truly have ill intentions and have chosen a dark path. But to be honest, deep down most people in this world are just as hurt and as lost as the next. So what does this mean?

  1. Forgiveness is key.
  2. Prayer is key.
  3. Seeking God is key.

Although there is hurt, we have to be humble enough to understand that no one is perfect, including us. Because we aren’t perfect we have to forgive others. This doesn’t mean that we subject ourselves to more hurt. This is why prayer and seeking God is key. We need the wisdom from God to understand what is happening in our lives, why it’s happening, but more importantly, what we should be doing to address the thing happening.

After forgiveness, prayer, and seeking God, I listened to God. I asked, “Lord what would you have me to do that would bring you glory?” I believe He told me to trust in Him with my emotions, my feelings, my frustrations, my everything, and that He would use me to help my fellow christian grow closer to Him. Not only would He do these things, but he would protect me and heal me so that I didn’t have to figure our how to protect myself.

See many times, we are hurt by the ones we least expect. Few times do we trust God. Few times do we actually go to God concerning our hurt. We typically shut down. The process is not always easy, but imagine a life where you can help not only yourself, but those who hurt you to be better people. Imagine being protected and healed completely over something that should have broken or destroyed you. Imagine a life where you don’t have to walk around on your tiptoes because you are avoiding things/people who hurt you. Imagine a life where you don’t miss out on the best things in life even though negative things have happened.

Church hurt is real. People hurt is real. But the freedom in Christ is also real….and it provides a better reality than holding onto the hurt. The life we all desire, but don’t always know how to get to after being hurt, is found in Christ. It’s found when we take time to read and study the Bible, then apply it to our lives. It’s found we develop a real relationship with Christ and get to know Him for ourselves. It’s found when we accept Christ and His love. It’s found when we forgive just as Christ forgave us. It’s found when we use wisdom after being hurt. It’s found when we decide that no matter what or who, we will still follow Christ. #Justthinking

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